Surviving College Through Compromise

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This year, I’ll be hitting my 10th year anniversary of being in the Air Force. For most, this is a big feat because its halfway to retirement, but honestly, I don’t want to remain enlisted forever. I feel like I’ve reached the point in my enlisted career where I know everything I need to know about my job. Anything after my current rank is just managerial or administrative, and I’m not all about that life. My true calling is caring for people as a medical professional.

As I’ve stated in previous posts, I’m currently attempting to pursue the Inter-service Physician Assistant Program (IPAP), and time is definitely running out for me. One of the eligibility requirements for the program is that I’ve been in 14 years or less, and it seems just around the corner for me… And, of course, as life would have it, most of my classes that I’ve taken before are too old. Meaning, I’ll have to repeat courses. BOY, do I feel a time crunch. And honestly, I’m already starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of classes I’ll need to be taking and the pace I’ll be going (I’ll be taking courses right after another). Between playing Roller Derby for fun & exercise, working a full-time job, and a mother, it almost makes me want to give up already.

With all the stuff that I’m doing now, and then how aggressive I’ll be with taking classes, it makes me wonder how this will affect my marriage… because I won’t be the only one that will be going to school. And that makes me think about what I learned in the many marriage counseling sessions I’ve done alone in my previous marriage (they were somehow useful after all!). One of the items my counselor harped on was compromising daily duties. When she mentioned that, I just about died of laughter because there was no such thing as compromise in my first marriage; but still, I decided to listen in case I could somehow use this in the future. She used her marriage and her recent delivery of a newborn as an example to explain things to me: her and her husband would create lists of chores that need to be done around the house, and they split it evenly. And even though they divide the tasks 50/50, they still watch out for each other and help out as needed. So its not like, “oh, I already did my stuff, so I’m done” and not even help your teammate out. Because, yes, your spouse is your teammate in this game of life.

At this point, we’re already ahead of the game because we are already compromising with me playing Roller Derby –  the compromise is that I get to go to practice two times per week. If we didn’t have children, it would probably be easier for me to go to as many practices as I want because my husband wouldn’t have to take on the burden of caring for kids. However, its not the case, and I don’t want to push it. I don’t want to overwhelm him and then he resentment me for doing things that I want to. And so because he deals with my BS, I’ll be staying home next week with the kids while he and his friends camp out in Yellowstone.

Hopefully, things will work out for us and we can manage to juggle our own lives, each other lives, and our kids lives without getting exhausted, but only time will tell. However, I’m quite confident he and I will make it somehow.

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